JOKES

When I took my baby daughter to the supermarket for the first time, I dressed her in pink from head to toe. At the store, I placed her in the shopping cart, gradually put my purchases around her, then headed for the check-out line. 

A little girl and her mother were behind me. The child was crying and begging for something. She wants some candy or gum and her mother won't let her have any, I thought. 

Then I heard her mother reply: "No!" she said, looking in my direction. "You may not have a baby sister today.  That lady got the last one!"

A man walked into the produce section of his local supermarket, and asked to buy half a head of lettuce.

The boy working in that department told him that they only sold whole heads of lettuce.
The man was insistent that the boy ask his manager about the matter.

Walking into the back room, the boy said to the manager, "Some idiot wants to buy half a head of lettuce."

As he finished his sentence, he turned to find the man standing right behind him, so he added, "and this gentleman kindly offered to buy the other half."

The manager approved the deal, and the man went on his way. 

Man walks into a supermarket and buys:    
* 1 bar of soap    
* 1 toothbrush    
* 1 tube toothpaste    
* 1 loaf of bread    
* 1 pint of milk    
* 1 single serving cereal    
* 1 single serving frozen dinner
 
The girl at the checkout looks at him and says "Single are you?"

The man replies very sarcastically "How did you guess?"

She replies "Because you're ugly."